scottythecomic's whimsical rantings

Leave it to some enterprising American to come up with a hit game after the shoe throwing incident.

It's free and easy!

http://www.sockandawe.com/

The national boycott "Day Without A Gay" is set for tomorrow but is already feeling the pressure from people not supporting the protest against California's passing of Proposition 8.  The hunbub isn't coming from radical Islam, right wingers, Christians, or anyone else the gays usually throw their accusations against.

The protest against the protest is actually coming from...gay business owners and management types!  In fact, several have maintained that if gay employees refuse to work or, "call in gay," they will be terminated accordingly. And rightly so.

With tough economic times, the make or break Christmas season for many businesses and good old common sense, this "Day Without A Gay" is doomed for failure.

The law is the law. Live with it.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on these statistics, the best current investment strategy is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401Keg plan.

Sensationalism and widespread panic swooped down on the US Postal center where a gazillion po-po and a Haz-Mat team rolled in like a scene straight out of Emergency 51.

I watched Fox 4 as usual.  Lynn Kawano spoke of the postal employees who complained of "watering eyes" and "difficulty breathing."  I kept the channel on 4...only to find out that the suspicious package turned out to be a box of rocks.  I mean, that's all good and all, but how the heck does one suffer watering eyes and difficulty breathing from a box of rocks?

Then it hit me.  The package was entirely too heavy for an employee to lift so he or she gasped for breath.  Others emerged per their supervisor's orders to get the box moving, only to meet with the same fate. Still others cried that they might have to work. Soon there were several employees crying and gasping for breath.

It wasn't long before someone stated that Betty Jean Badback was gasping for breath because of a suspicios package and the rumor spread like fog in a haunted house. Disco Dan, the wanna-be mailman, overheard the rumor and called 911.

Thge next thing you know 700 plus postal employees are breathing a real sigh of relief because they're standing outside and not having to handle the plethora of news ads from Berkshires and postcards from Tom Thumb.

In the end all were safe and sound and our mail was delayed yet again.  The good news is that stamp prices will likely increase soon.

Oh, and that box of rocks?  Rumor has it they were replacement brains for DISD administrators and the Dallas City Council.

I heard it on the news so it must be true.

To be sung to the tune of "Another Brick In the Wall Part 2"

Kids still need an education
No flakes like Hinojosa
No politics inside the classroom
Michael, leave them kids alone
Hey! Michael! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another sham on us all.
All in all you're a crying shame to us all.

We don't need your administration

Dont need your silly thought control
No preferences in the classroom
Michael leave them teachers alone
Hey! Michael! Leave them teachers alone!
All in all you’re a crying shame to us all.
All in all  just a poor failure for us all.

Yesterday I was at the Woodforest National Bank at the Wal-Mart on Frankford and Marsh. I was picking up a debit card that had come in.  I left the bank/store and, when I got to my car, saw that a man and a woman were behind my car.

I checked to see if all was well as the man was on his knees. He had dropped a coffee pot and cut himself. Meanwhile, I left my wallet and new card on the roof of my car and, like a dope, drove off.

I got down the road 2 miles when I realized what I'd done. Before I could get half way back my bank called. A lady had turned in my wallet, card and had disappeared.  Gary, one of the tellers said he didn't know what the lady's name was.  Then she appeared in the woman's area shopping for clothes.

I approached her, thanked her and offered her a reward for her honesty. She adamantly refused. Were it not for her being on the spot where my items were lost along with her honesty, my movie would have been ruined. You see, all my budget was in that bank and on that card, not to mention my other cards, cash etc in that wallet. Not one thing was missing.

God bless Michelle and others like her who do the right thing. Michelle owns a Shaved Ice business near Josey.  What a class act! And thanks to my bankers there at Woodforest for their promptness. What a crew!

Thanks again, Michelle!

A Swedish news agency has found a short film clip of John McCain after being released from a Hanoi prison in 1973.

http://svt.se/svt/jsp/Crosslink.jsp?d=22584&a=1243
689&lid=puff_1243756&lpos=lasmer

My friend Richard Hernandez has been missing for nearly a week.  He was last seen leaving the Wal-Mart at Frankford Rd and Marsh Lane where he worked last Wednesday evening.

Police found his cell phone at his apartment at the Rosemeade Court apartments at Midway and Rosemeade. Unfortunately, they also found blood.

Richard is an easy going man who'd give you the shirt off his back. He is a Latin man and is described as being 5-foot-6 and 145 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes. He also has a scar over his left eye.

Anyone with information can call Detective D.A. Thompson at 214-283-4824.

Please help us find him and pray for his safety as well as safe return.