phelony_jones's Blog

It's a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, and I've just returned from skating at the lakefront. I went by myself, because at this time, that's pretty much with whom I have, to go anywhere.

Pourquoi? I'm 35. Going on 36. I've been working hard for a long time, I've been in a couple of long term relationships. And most importantly, friends come and go. This generally isn't a problem when you're 23 years old, because everyone is single and will be out later. You're bound to run into someone you know and you can attach yourself to their group. But, if you spend your days with your head down at your desk, and end the day pretty tired, it isn't long before the imperceptible waning of your circle of friends and your own social skills - starts to rear it's ugly head. Why? Because no one was there to say "oh honey, you can't go out like that".

My point exactly. You lose your circle, your support, and you lose a lot of your reality check and perspective. Pretty soon you find that you're living for work because that's mostly where what's left of your social circle, is.

It's easy to end up with hangers-on at this point. So therefore it's even more important to be selective and careful, because you're prime pickings for unstable women of your own age.

But you hang in there, especially because you can see the reality of the situation. It's critical to be stuck on only one thing: the type of people you want to ally yourself with. And that's easier said than done when you're basically starting over like I am. Why? Well, you're out of practice. Especially when it comes to being friends with women. That's hard for some people to imagine but it happens more often than you'd think.

So therefore, I say this. I know there are women out there who are exactly like me, and are looking for the exact same thing: companionship with other women who are smart, self-reliant, stable (emotionally and financially), aren't intimidated by successful women and in fact want to be around successful women, and darnit - want to go and do things. My ideal situation would be to be adopted by an existing group of women. To put the perspective back into me. Socially, and otherwisedly. I'd be open to pointers, ideas, or social invites.

But if you fit the same profile as me and you're in my exact situation, let's have coffee. Hell, let's get more of us together for coffee and chick chat.

(my contact details are in my profile.)