gunpowderNlead's Blog

While I haven't gotten here quite yet, it was still hilarious as I know a few who have:

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomer
s-blurb,0,1036393.blurb

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSZkJl0PXPw

Simply precious.  This will make you laugh through your tears.  This is one of the most precious little girls I believe I have ever seen.

Men... you have been warned!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2OakMoW_c

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAbeUHvT3mQ

I have watched this so many times and it always makes me laugh.... God I can see this happening with a couple of men I know-   one in particular.... lol   Enjoy! 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqcvR5pIifE

I found this article in the Dallas Morning News and had to smile.   It is true, so many people in other Countries still watch the old show.   When I visited Europe in 2003, people would always comment about my accent and then say "Do you know JR".... it was hilarious.   Anyone coming to Dallas, expecting to see J.R. Ewing or any of the rest of the Ewings roaming the streets in their big Stetsons and big hair... will be sadly disappointed.    Southfork is no longer in the Country.... it sits on it's own acreage surrounded by multi million dollar homes.    It is rented out for special events such as Proms and Weddings.  There is one thing for sure though, just about any time you drive by, you will find 10 - 15 people standing at the big gates, taking pictures of the ole girl.   She does still draw attention....approximately 30 miles northeast of Dallas proper.  
'Dallas' TV show still going strong after 30 years

 

11:20 AM CDT on Thursday, July 3, 2008

 

By JAKE BATSELL / The Dallas Morning News

 

He hangs his hat almost 5,000 miles from Southfork, but Colin Hunter has rounded up a huge herd of fans still infatuated with Dallas.

VideoAfter 30 years, TV fans still drawn to 'Dallas' (DMN - Video/editing: Jake Batsell)July 1st, 2008More local/state videoView largerE-mail ClipMore VideoLocal/State Videos

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Never mind that the iconic television show has been off the air since 1991. Each day, some 23,000 people visit UltimateDallas.com, the fan site Mr. Hunter produces out of his north London home.

“There are people from everywhere — Romania, Japan, the U.S., Indonesia,” Mr. Hunter, 36, said in a telephone interview. “We’ve got this whole new fan base, some people as young as 12 and 13.”

Three decades after J.R., Sue Ellen and company began bickering on prime-time TV, Dallas remains an unstoppable force in popular culture.

The show that epitomized American grandeur and greed during the Reagan years is still syndicated in dozens of countries. Southfork Ranch in Parker draws more than 300,000 visitors a year. Diehards and new fans devour episodes on DVDs and cable soap channels.

“Dallas is not a phenomenon of 30 years ago, but actually is continuing to bring in new viewers,” said Janet Staiger, curator of Dallas: Power & Passion on Primetime TV, a new exhibit at the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum in Austin.

The exhibit, which runs through Sept. 14, chronicles how the show’s memorable characters, scandalous storylines and TV firsts — most notably the “Who shot J.R.?” cliffhanger — spawned a global juggernaut that continues to fascinate legions of fans.

Boosters of modern Dallas, meanwhile, often cringe at the show’s over-the-top stereotypes and the lingering perception that the city remains a mecca for big hair, 10-gallon hats and cutthroat capitalism.

“It’s a blessing and a curse,” said Phillip Jones, president and chief executive officer of the Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau.

The show’s persistent popularity makes it more challenging to promote Dallas as a progressive, ethnically diverse city with plentiful options for culture, dining and commerce, Mr. Jones said.

On the plus side, he said, “everywhere you go in the world, people know Dallas.”

“The curse is, everywhere you go in the world, people know Dallas from 30 years ago,” he said. “People think if they come to Dallas, they’re going to see J.R. Ewing walking down the street.”

 

Also Online

Quiz: Do you know 'Dallas'?

Link: Ultimate 'Dallas'

Link: 'Dallas' fanzine

First of its kind

When the show first aired on CBS in April 1978, Dallas chiefly was known as the site of the Kennedy assassination. The Dallas Cowboys, fresh off their second Super Bowl victory, weren’t even America’s Team yetÖ.

Then came the TV series, which suddenly recast Dallas as a glitzy universe of shimmering skyscrapers, slick oil barons and gorgeous women clad in fur coats and showy jewelry.

"It was, of course, not a totally accurate image," said Dr. Staiger, a professor of film and television studies at the University of Texas at Austin. "Not all women dress as beautifully as beautifully as Pamela Barnes and Sue Ellen did when they went to lunch. But it gave Dallas an image of richness.”

By the end of the second season in spring 1980, the show gave America its first prime-time cliffhanger when an unknown assailant gunned down J.R. Ewing in his office.

The scheming, sharp-tongued oilman — played by Fort Worth native Larry Hagman — had a long list of enemies. A prolonged actors strike forced fans to wait eight months before finding out the answer to the now-historic marketing slogan: “Who Shot J.R.?”

In November 1980, roughly 360 million viewers worldwide finally discovered who pulled the trigger. At the time, it was the most heavily watched event in television history.

The success of Dallas also elevated the soap-opera plot formula — serial narratives featuring multiple, intertwined story lines — into prime time.

“Now, you can hardly find a drama on prime-time that doesn’t have this format,” Dr. Staiger said.

The show inspired a crush of merchandise, some of which is on display at the Austin exhibit — puzzles, albums, even J.R. beer in pull-top cans.

Hollywood’s efforts to remake Dallas into a movie have sputtered. Janis Burklund, director of the Dallas Film Commission, said studio executives recently told her that the project is still alive but on hold as writers rework the script.

 

Actors still pleased

Susan Howard-Chrane accepts that her public persona will always be intertwined with her Dallas character, Donna Krebbs.

George W. Bush, then governor, appointed Ms. Howard-Chrane to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission in 1995. During her confirmation hearing, the room went silent when Sen. Jane Nelson, R-Lewisville, accidentally called her Donna.

“It wasn’t any big deal,” said Ms. Howard-Chrane, a Boerne resident who now serves on the Texas Commission on the Arts and is still constantly recognized by Dallas fans.

“I am never offended by someone calling me Donna — ever,” she said.

Ms. Howard-Chrane said viewers kept tuning in to Dallas because they related to the personal stories of each character — a rare occurrence in today’s prime-time lineup of reality shows and crime dramas.

“It was probably the last of its kind,” she said. “It primarily was a show to entertain, and to showcase actors and pretty clothes and attractive people and relationships. It was entertainment. I think we’ve kind of gotten away from that.”

The show’s success surprised actor Steve Kanaly, who played Ray Krebbs, Donna’s husband and the Ewings’ ranch foreman. Mr. Kanaly, who now grows avocados and citrus crops in Ojai, Calif., said he expected a quick exit after filming the first five episodes.

“I never believed the show had a chance to be successful,” he said. “I did five shows with everybody and thought, ‘Well, this is great; it’s been fun working with you, see you later.’.”

In retrospect, Mr. Kanaly said, the show may have caught on because it provided an escape from real-world issues like inflation, unemployment and the Iran hostage crisis.

“There were a lot of negative things going on,” he said. “And then this show pops up that doesn’t have anything to do with anything except a bunch of rich people in Texas and their crazy, mixed-up lives.”

 

Worldwide reach

Shady deals, boozy carousing and messy family politics may have been off-putting to some, but the program showed the world that America was a land of big dreams, Cadillacs and swimming pools.

Just ask Tomas Spilacek. During a visit to Southfork last month, Mr. Spilacek remembered watching Dallas in communist Czechoslovakia 20 years ago.

“Every person was watching this movie because Dallas is like all life in the U.S.,” he said. “Over there, communism. Over here, Dallas. Every Saturday night watching this movie is beautiful.”

Sally Peavy, the ranch’s tourism sales manager, hears stories like that all the time. Roughly two-thirds of the visitors who show up to tour Southfork are international.

“I would’ve thought that maybe it would have died down by now,” Ms. Peavy said. “But it’s amazing to me that people are still intrigued about the show, want to come see it, want to come experience it.”

Colin Mallon, a Southfork visitor hailing from Kent in the United Kingdom, said he got hooked on Dallas in the 1980s because “the storyline was brilliant, had a good laugh in it. It’s just something that made you watch every week.”

“Some of the things that happened in the show were just kind of bizarre,” added Angie Green of Wapakoneta, Ohio. “You couldn’t wait until the next week to see what was going to happen with J.R. and Cliff and all the characters.”

 

Still holds up

On UltimateDallas, the Web site Mr. Hunter started with two friends in 1997, fans interview the show’s stars, debate old plot twists and answer poll questions like: “Which forbidden love would you have liked to see?”

Mr. Hunter runs the site and attached fan forum with help from fellow fans in London, Canada and the United States. He said interest in the show has endured because its human storylines held such universal appeal.

Viewers could relate to Bobby and J.R.’s sibling rivalry, Sue Ellen’s alcoholism, Pam’s insecurity about her inability to have children and the family squabbles between the Ewing and Barnes clans.

“It was a character-driven show in a way we don’t tend to get now,” Mr. Hunter said. “It still kind of holds up, even nowadays.”

The State Fair of Texas always serves up new unique foods each year,  this will be one of the 2008 creations..... everything is better... deep fried   :)

Deep-Fried Watermelon: Southerners will fry anything 11:38 AM CDT on Wednesday, June 18, 2008

We know September is still a ways off. But for those of you already in a State Fair of Texas frame of mind, check this out. It’s something only we Southerners would do with - or to - watermelon.

DEEP FRIED WATERMELON

1 watermelon, about 10 pounds

11 tablespoons flour

7 tablespoons cornstarch

2 egg whites, beaten

3 cups vegetable oil for deep-frying use

Powdered sugar

Also Online

More watermelon recipes

Cut the watermelon in half and scoop out the pulp. Remove any seeds from the pulp and cut the pulp into diamonds. Coat with flour.

Mix the egg whites with cornstarch and a little water into a batter.

Heat the oil in a wok or skillet over high heat to about 250 F,Ö or until small bubbles appear around a 1-inch cube of day-old bread dropped into the oil.

Dip the watermelon pieces in the batter and add to the oil. Deep-fry until the coating becomes firm. Turn off the heat, and continue to deep-fry the watermelon until light brown. Remove, drain well, sprinkle with the sugar, and serve. Makes 12 servings.

My cousin Tonya sent me this today, I had to pass it on.   I especially love Andy's first observation, because it is absolutely true.

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks
about women over 40 . 

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's
usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll
tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You
don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her!

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman
over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%
of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both 
he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind 
of meat it is but will give them a clue and let them guess The 
kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so 
they begged their dad for the clue. 

Well, he said, 'it's what mommy calls me sometimes.'

The little girl screams to her brother, 'Don't eat it, it's an a$$hole!

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.  Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.  One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whisky.

4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!  If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.  But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.  And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.  With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.  He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.  He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered.   "He's gonna run for Congress."

I hope you are all enjoying your Memorial Day.   I will be spending my Memorial Day inside and hosting another party later this evening that will include some board games, hot dogs, hamburgers and an old fashioned ice cream social...... I am confined to the house because I did something stupid yesterday.     I had a party here at my house yesterday that included  the Indianapolis 500,  Nascar, lots of food, pool fun, sun and alcoholic beverage to help keep everyone cool.     I had so much fun, floating around in the pool, hooked up to a bottomless pina colada and gossiping with my friends, that I failed to notice just how long I was floating around out there in the searing Texas sun.    By evening, I was begging my husband to give me a bath in shaved ice.    I am only part Cherokee, the rest is Irish and Scottish.  The part Cherokee I got was the hair, eyes and temper.... I got my lily white skin from the Europeans.   I am about as white as a white girl can be.   Anyway, a good friend of mine, CaptMax told me about a remedy you can use to help take the heat and sting away from sunburn.   I tried it last night and it worked so I am passing it on to you.   The remedy is iced tea (no sugar). 
I filled up one of my bathroom sinks with ice and water from one of the coolers  and put 4 family sized Lipton Cold brew tea bags in the water.   My husband then helped me and we would dip wash clothes into the tea, wring them out and then lay them all over my body, it was amazing how soothing it was and I could feel the heat being transferred into the washcloth from the sunburn.   We did several applications of this process, it was the only way I was able to sleep comfortably.    It works and is so easy to do!   Thank you CaptMax for suggesting this remedy to me, because of you, I was able to get some rest. 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

 Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

 Why does Superpman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”?

 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

 Why is it that no matter what color the bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

 Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

 Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

 Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

 How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

 Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

 In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

 How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

 And here’s my personal favorite…….

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.   Think of your three best friends—if they’re okay, then it's you! 

Yes they are big, yes they are fattening (I don't like to have to shake the sheets to find my man anyway)  and yes they are delicious!    Enjoy!

Buffalo ChipsA Texas Treasure

1 pound of butter
2 cups packed brown sugar
2 cups white sugar
4 eggs
4 cups of flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups crushed corn flakes
1  12 oz. package chocolate chips (I use semi-sweet)
2 cups chopped pecans or walnuts (I use walnuts)
2 cups quick oatmeal, uncooked
Melt butter and cook to lukewarm.   Add the sugars and mix well.   
Add remaining ingredients in order listed, stirring after each addition (this is the secret to the recipe)
Use an ice cream scoop to measure amount of cookie dough for each cookie (I usually fill the scoop half full for a manageable cookie).   Place 6 scoops only on 1  ungreased cookie sheet.    Bake at 350 for 13 - 15 minutes. 
These cookies take a little bit of time to cook, being able to only cook 6 at a time, but they are well worth the wait and a hit regardless of whether you are serving them at home or for a social function.   And yes..... everything IS bigger in Texas ;) 

BEST 'Out of Office' Automatic E-mail Replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will not be able to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, & your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words & $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has been delivered. Please restart your computer & try sending again....(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over & over & over...)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, & can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

 8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me....Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Sheila' instead of Steve.