gunpowderNlead's Blog

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
'Hello.' 'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Speaking.' '
Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.
Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.
' 'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

In Texas, Football is King and considered a birthright.   Check out these people who have camped out over night to get season tickets to a HIGH SCHOOL football game for next year- What the article doesn't mention..... we had some massive storms last night so these folks were water logged to boot-

http://www.star-telegram.com/news/story/641393.html>

Max and His Wife

Max and his wife  went to the state fair every year. Every year Max would say, "I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year his wife would say, "I know Max, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Max and his wife  went to the fair and Max said, " I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Max's wife  replied, "Max, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Max and his wife agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Max, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Max replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when my wife fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

One word comes to mind:  IDIOT


A Fort Worth man trying to scratch an itch on his back used a revolver and accidentally shot himself. Jorge Espinal, 44, was *drinking beer and playing poker around 3 a.m. Sunday morning in his home in the 3500 block of Montague Street, when he got up from the table and walked into another room, said Fort Worth police Lt. Kenneth Dean. “He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of which was a revolver,” Lt. Dean said. “The gun went off." Mr. Espinal went back and told his buddies that he shot himself. “They didn’t believe him until they saw the blood coming down his back,” Lt. Dean said. Mr. Espinal was taken to an area hospital where he was treated and released with non-life-threatening injuries.

* Another reason Mexican's shouldn't be allowed to drink alcohol.

With all the sadness going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

What is wrong with people?  What kind of a parent would let their child wear something like this to a school prom?   This girl is all upset because the school had a standard (thank God) that she didn't meet and because they turned her away because she showed up at the Prom looking like a Prostitute vs. a school girl attending her Senior Prom.

I have three words for you little Ms. Hoochie in Waiting..... "GET OVER IT"

http://www.dallasnews.com/video/index.html?nvid=243976



Would you let your daughter wear something like this to her school prom?

TWO TEMPLES A Builder built a temple, He wrought it with grace and skill;  Pillars and groins and arches All fashioned to work his will. Men said, as they saw its beauty, "It shall never know decay; Great is thy skill, O Builder! Thy fame shall endure for aye." 
A Mother built a temple With loving and infinite care,  Planning each arch with patience, Laying each stone with prayer. None praised her unceasing efforts, None knew of her wondrous plan, For the temple the Mother built Was unseen by the eyes of man. 
Gone is the Builder's temple, Crumpled into the dust; Low lies each stately pillar, Food for consuming rust.  But the temple the Mother built Will last while the ages roll, For that beautiful unseen temple Was a child's immortal soul.                                                             - Hattie Vose Hall

I OWE MY MOTHER

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

cleaning."

 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

 

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next

week!"

 

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the

store with me."

 

*6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 

 

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

 

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have

wonderful parents like you do."

 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that

way."

 

19. My mother  taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

 

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

 

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

 

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

As a side note to #25... she marked me with a real troll!

This, my friends, is how you handle criminals...  This one won't be out there to repeat offend-

Neighbor fatally shoots man attacking doughnut shop worker 7:24 AM CT 07:37 AM CDT on Friday, May 9, 2008 From Staff Reports

A man accused of attacking a woman at a doughnut shop was fatally shot after the woman’s neighbor came to her rescue.

The incident happened about 2:30 a.m. Friday in the 100 block of Roberts Cut-Off Road about two miles east of the Naval Air Station in Fort Worth.

Fort Worth police said the woman, a doughnut shop worker, was hit on the head during the robbery as she tried to escape. A neighbor heard the commotion, grabbed a shotgun and came to her assistance.

The neighbor then shot the 44-year-old robbery suspect in the chest, police said.

The neighbor was not arrested. The case will be forwarded to the grand jury.

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said."How much will you charge me?" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need where in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" the startled husband asked."Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

 "And by the way, " the blonde added, "it's not a Porch,it's a Lexus."

Am I the only person who feels that perhaps these men resisted arrest and asked for this to happen to them?    All of these men, with the exception of one, had quite a record.... none of them were mama's little angels so why are people rushing up to blame the police when in reality, these men probably did something to warrant the treatment given. 

 B B Q   RULES
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. 
 
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
 
(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill -Beer in hand

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
 
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another Beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
 
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9)After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 
 
And most important of all:   (10) Everyone PRAISES  the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Disclaimer: I did not write this, simply passing it on, also I know there is at least one fine gentleman out there who does alot of cooking and not just grilling.   Here in Texas, BBQ is also a food and it rules! 
 

For all who are eligible, what are you doing to do with your tax rebate check?  Are you going to spend it or save it?  We won't be in on the whole tax rebate thing but if we were, I think I would save mine.   I have a couple of friends who are already thinking of ways to use theirs (most of them are paying bills) a couple other of them are considering applying it towards a summer vacation.   I have one secretary, whom I have written a few blogs about, who already has hers spent,  she is the type of gal who is waiting first in line on the doorstep to H&R block on January 2 of each year and has her rapid refund spent by January 3.   
What are you going to do with your rebate? 

Being a lover of Firemen, I felt this is important to pass along.   Let's all go out and show our appreciation and enjoy a nice cool treat too! 

Baskin Robbins is honoring America 's Firefighters by selling ice cream for $.31 cents per scoop on Wednesday, April 30th between 5 and 10 pm. Grab your friends, and/or the kids and have a cool one! This fundraiser for the firefighters is an important one for them, so let's go out and have ice cream and support a great cause.

Here is the link regarding the promotion and a store finder-

http://www.baskinrobbins.com/Promotion/31cent.aspx

If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affects us all on a daily basis!
They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......
PS- I love Andy Rooney :)


I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the   world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved .

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. (Amen to that!)

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
 
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.