girlscout's Blog

Aww,Sorry that you are having a bad day girlscout. And no,sorry that I don't have any jokes to share but,just take in a deep breath and smile! Hope the evening is better for you,as well as the week with the nice weather.
A big "HUG" to you :0)

two girlscouts walk into a bar...
you think one of them would have seen it.

BigTedParma: That's "hot!"

For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house
is $180,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can
afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Matt heading out the front door with
a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Matt told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I
heard you tell mum you were pulling out.

Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $180,000
mortgage and no f**king bike!

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so
cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he
was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of BLEEP is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep BLEEP, it's smart to keep your mouth shut!

A sales rep, administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in
theBahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff!
She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."


Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at
home, who cooks from time to time, cleans
up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make
you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can
trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good
in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four
women don’t know each other.

Some time ago, Santa Claus sued the Jolly Green Giant for stealing his famous "BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP" trademark. The trial didn't last very long, and the jury unanimously found the giant guilty despite his testimony that the little guy in the red and white suit and the long white beard wasn't the first to laugh, "BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP." The judge then stripped the Giant of his personal independence and sentenced him to the jurisdiction of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.