bigbadbob's Blog

Maureen McCormick who played Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch, has a new tell-all book about the show. According to her, it seems that there was a lot more going on then met the eye. She and Barry Williams, who played her step brother Greg on the show allegedly kissed and groped each other in one of their scenes. 

I’m guessing that’s where the term. ’MARCIA!’ ‘MARCIA!’ ‘MARCIA!’ originated! 

Rumor has it that Madonna and Guy Ritchie may be splitting up!

Not to worry though….I think she has ‘A-ROD’ warming up in the bullpen!

Esquire named Halle Berry sexiest woman alive!’ So this is news? 

DUH!!! 

So a puffed-up Ringo Starr blows off his fans?? He will no longer sign autographs on photos and other objects! He stated that he can't be bothered...he has too much to do?!?!

First of all…."HE HAS FANS?" Secondly, maybe now he’ll find some time for drum lessons?!?! 

This just in.  So far, Jamie Lynne Spears is not….

 PREGNANT!!!

I think that we ALL agree that the state of our COUNTRY…NO the entire WORLD is in deep trouble. So what I’d like to know is if we’re looking toward the next election to turn things around, what are our candidates doing on Leno and Letterman’s shows?

McCain cancels an appearance and David Letterman reprimands him? This is a man who wants to be the next President and he’s intimidated by David Letterman? God only knows what’ll happen if he ever gets a call from Vladamir Putin!

What’s next, Dancing With The Deligates?

I  wouldn't be surprised if in addition to mud slinging, they’ll be mud wrestling with Sarah, and  holding the debates at The IMROV.!

Before you know it campaign posters and fliers, will be replaced by 8X10 glossies and Bio’s!

Politicians & Hollywood = POLLY-WOOD! Not a good mix!

BIG ‘Scared’ Bob

             I think it was

'Chrisopher Columbus' who once said "HEY, THERE IT IS!"

Thanks to Chris's discovery, ships stopped falling off the earth!

I'm still not sure who discovered 'Columbus Ohio!'

                 anyway...

    "HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY!!"

                                   BBB!

I thought I'd pass this on...A very interesting and informative blog from fellow Fox blogger, gunpowerNlead out of Philadelphia via Texas.  At the point of sounding redundant..A MUST READ!!...BBB

This was sent to me via email from a friend named Max, I am not sure who the original author is but it is well worth the read. While I know this was meant for email and I intend to send it to my address book, I also felt it was worth posting here-

545 PEOPLE


Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and
then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans
are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation
and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on
appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme
Court justices 545 human beings out of the 300 million are dire ctly,
legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems
that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem
was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its
Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally
chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.
They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a
senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I
don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The
politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the
lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine
how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that
what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con
regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive
amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker,
who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The
president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to
accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and
approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She
is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not
the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes
it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not
replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of
incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic
problem that is not traceable directly to tho se 545 people. When you
fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the
federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they
want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement
plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they
hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and
advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to
regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let
them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical
forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation,' or 'politics' that prevent them
from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are
their bosses provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own
employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
What you do with this article now that you have read it is up
to you, though you appear to have several choices.

1. You can send this to everyone in your address book, and hope'
they' do something about it.

2. You can agree to 'vote against' everyone that is currently in
office, knowing that the process will take several years.

3. You can decide to 'run for office' yourself and agree to do the
job properly.
4. Lastly, you can sit back and do nothing, or re-elect the current
bunch.

YOU DECIDE, BUT AT LEAST SEND IT TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK,
MAYBE SOMEONE IN THERE WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

 This is my 100th blog. When I first started, I didn’t really know what a blog was…To some degree, I still don’t. All I know is I like blogging and MOST of the people who blog with me. 99.9% anyway. It’s that one tenth of a percent that bothers me. For the most part we’re all anonymous. Some hide behind alter egos. I think that’s cool. What ever floats your boat, as long as you’re not being destructive.

    I’m NOT hiding who I am, I’m sharing who I am. It’s my choice. I earn my living writing humor, playing  the drums doing my art. I have a creative lifestyle. When I blog here I sometimes go into my own archives and share some of my published humor columns with you. I just enjoy making people laugh and feel good. It’s insane isn’t it? I spend my days writing jokes and comedy routines for professional comedians, writing roasts comedy sketches and humor columns to pay my bills. And when I take a break from that, I do it for free here!

   I’ve spent my life in a business where I know and deal with celebrities on a daily basis, so I take it for granted. When the Fox on-air talent shares who they are with us, there are some who think that they now know them personally. You don’t! Maybe someday you will, but that will be their choice.  They have become our friends though and should be treated with respect!!!!

   I feel that we’re ALL friends here and would hope we stay friends. But RUDE lascivious remarks DO NOT BELONG HERE!

   If we are friends…PLEASE don’t tell my agents that I DON’T get paid here…

Shhhhh…It’s our little secret!

   You guys are the BEST!

BOB!

Looks like New York Mayor, Mike Bloomberg is planning to seek a third term as Mayor!

I guess our financial situation is a lot worse than we thought, when one of the wealthiest men in the world, wants to hold on to his job!!

With the world in the middle of a financial fiasco, software billionaire, Charles Simonyi is planning a second trip into outer space to the International Space Station in 2009, again in a Russian rocket with another Russian crew. 

Sort’a makes you wonder if he Knows something that we don’t. An interspace version of “HOUSE HUNTERS?” 

Sharon Stone has lost custody of her son to her ex-husband. It seems that she over reacts to many medical issues. She believed that he had a spinal condition, that turned out to be constipation, and wanted her son to have Botox injections for a foot odor problem. Kinda Weird, huh? 

Here’s some advice from BBB…A Bran muffin once in a while for the first problem.  Dr Scholls foot soap and odor eaters for the feet. Somehow I don’t think getting any medical advice from her is wise, it appears that she has bad “BASIC INSTINTS!” 

With the Vice Presidential debate on Oct. 2, between Beiden and Palin.. I’m a little nervous… 

With all those pictures of Sarah Palin holding automatic weapons, a word to Beiden, I hope that he doesn’t stand on any floor pad behind his  podium that has the words "SPRING” written on it! 

I hope the Bail Out works, if not our entire country could be contestants on next seasons…

”SURVIVOR!”

I'm passing this information from a fellow blogger on MyFox DFW. Dallas Fort Worth. She's a regular commenter on my blogs. She's part of the MyFox  blogging family. Her 84 old parents lost half of their home to Hurricane Ike. she herself is recovering from a major head injury and has been helping her parents on her own. She's a terrific person and can use our help. Please read her request. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I think that MyFox bloggers are the greatest bloggers in the world. Let's help one of our own.

Thanks!    BBB1

Need Help re Books Sep 28, 2008 | 10:13 AM
Category: Entertainment
Report This Post

I need to buy a large quantity of books.  Just from one author, Jack Higgins.  These can be used books.

My parents home was heavily damaged by Ike.  In fact, the insurance people were there yesterday and they are kicking them out because they found black mold everywhere.  They are having trouble finding a hotel but think they found one 60 miles away.

My Dad's bedroom had the roof blown away and everything in that room was ruined.  He goes to sleep every night reading.  All his favorite books, all by Jack Higgins was on his bed.

I would like to buy a large quantity of Jack Higgins books and thought I would ask my fellow bloggers the best way to do this.  Most books he gets are used so that would not be a problem.  He says there are around 50 from him.  Of course I don't want to buy that many but would like to get a large quantity to replace some of his.

I know there is half priced books but I don't buy many books and thought there may be something else out there.

If any of you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.

BIGGER "PROUDER" Bob

P.S. THANKS LUKE!!

Nichole Kidman said that she thinks swimming in the waters of a small outback town during the filming of her latest movie “Australia” is what caused her to get pregnant with her daughter…

No,  read the manual Nichole…making love is what caused you to get pregnant!

According to The NY Post, Tim Donahy, the dirty rouge NBA official,  will be changing from referee stripes to prison stripes for pocketing up to thirty thousand dollars a year for supplying illegal gambling scheme game tips.

Tim, I got  a tip for ya.  In prison, you should keep your back to the wall to guard against “FOULS”….if ya get my drift!

Bravo is bringing PRIME TIME POLO to TV. Why?

What’s next? Giveaways like “MALLOT DAY”….“BOBBLE HEAD HORSES?”

According to Page Six, Hugh Hefner’s female empire is finally dwindling. Some of Hef’s Harem, have been spotted with pro athletes and other young studs!

So all that means to me is that this 82 year old, man who has his own idea of working out, is gonna have to break in some new Bunnies!

   A few years ago I received an invitation to attend a combination Neighborhood/High School reunion.  At first I didn't want to go, but my wife Susan, thought it would be a great way for her to put faces with the names that came up, when I told her stories from my past.  She said she'd give anything if she could attend her own reunion.  She attended Van Nuys High School in California.  I told her "that's like a three thousand mile schlepp, for one night of memories.  Plus if you Want to know what they look like, all you have to do is go to a movie, or turn on the TV, most of them  are acting in movies, on TV or doing commercials!"  

   So reluctantly I agree and we go.  As we enter the VFW hall, we walk into a sea of comb-overs, dentures and face lifts! At the door I'm greeted by an older gentleman who resembles my friend Freddy.  He extends his hand and says "Hello, and thanks for coming." I shake his hand and say "Hi I'm Bob. I'm  friend of your younger brother Freddy!"  He says "I AM FREDDY!"     There's an embarassing pause, then a smile comes to his face..."Always the kidder, hey Bobby?"  Then he brings me over to meet his wife Gloria?  He always hated Gloria.  Everyone always hated Gloria.  If you were to look up the words obnoxious, snotty, catty, self-centered, ego maniacal, self absorbed, part of the definitions would include a photograph of Gloria!  True to form, she had enough plastic surgery to fill a recycling dumpster. Her widows peek was now on the top of her head and she walked around with her face in a constant state of surprise! 

   I didn't recognize the school bully, Carlo.  He went from being Mr. Football, Mr. Baseball, Mr. Tough Guy, to being Mr.  FATSO! He was so big, he had Richter scale sensors sewn into his shorts.  If he ever had an out-or-body experience, he'd fall on himself.  In fact if he did fall, they'd have to call "Triple A" to stand him upright!  He must've eaten all of those lunches he stole from us all by himself!

    It's Saturday morning, about a week later, and we're discussing over breakfast, that all in all it was good to see how everyone turned out and that most of them were happy.  My wife is telling me how I was the youngest looking one there, when the door bell rings.  I say, "honey, could you please get that?" She says, "I don't believe this, I'm not wearing any makeup, I'm wearing a tank-top and cut-offs, and I have my hair in a pony tail."  I said, "please honey, my leg fell asleep and my feet hurt."  She gets up and says "Oh alright."  She opens the door and standing there is our Italian gardener.  He says "Hello little girl, is-a you Papa home??!"

            There was a time when the sound of wolves howling and coyotes baying would conjure up images of western movies.  Your mind would paint a picture of cowboys sitting around a campfire during a roundup, or sleeping in their bedrolls with their saddles as their pillows.  You know one of those "MACHO-MEMORY-MOMENTS!"  Or the screaming, whining, screeching of cats at night, doing what ever it is that cats do to make those blood curdling noises along with the distant sound of a train whistle that are reminders of those past memories of the summers I spent at Grandma's house.  I no longer find these sounds pleasing to the ear.  Why not, you ask?  Oh I don't know, maybe it's because those are just some of the sounds being supplied by those annoying, obnoxious, grinding "CAR ALARMS!!"

            At first they seemed like a viable, effective way to deter crime.  Someone would attempt to break into a car, a siren alarm or a honking horn would go off and the perpetrator (The Poip, as they say in New York) would be scared off, that's it, end of story. But the manufacturers weren't satisfied, so they set out to build a better mouse trap.  The new ones are so STATE-OF-THE-ART, sound and touch sensitive, that a puppy sneezing a mile away or a gnat landing on the hood can set it off.  This usually can result in a domino effect causing other car-alarms to join in the chorus of MIND-ALTERING sounds!  My biggest nightmare would be if a car alarm went off in Tampa, it would trigger a chain reaction that wouldn't stop until it reached Seattle.  Sorta like a "HORNS ACROSS AMERICA!"

            My least favorite alarm system is the one that offers a potpourri of a dozen different sounds simultaneously.  With the hooting, and the whirring and the beeping and the bopping and the honking and on and on.  These sounds have such a nerve racking effect on me that I could whip a bowl of egg whites into a meringue with just my pinky!

            The sad thing is that none of these alarms are effective anymore.  Name one person you can think of who calls 911 when they hear an alarm.  You can't, right?  If anything car alarms have created more crime.  Now we even have people who aren't thieves breaking into cars, just so they can shut off those stupid alarms!  

            A few years back, a musician colleague who fancied himself an electronics genius, decided that he would BURGLAR-PROOF his car by wiring the door handles of his Mustang so that anyone trying to enter his "ride" would be met by a few jolts of electricity.   Nothing fatal, just enough to knock someone on their keester.  So he did.  The problem was that he forgot to inform his wife, so when she came through the door all disheveled, with her hair smoking and looking like a combination of Kramer and Carrot Top, she wasn't laughing.  This normally beautiful woman looked like a CRASH DUMMY in a static-cling commercial!

            So what's the solution?  I personally feel that it should be mandatory that every vehicle should be equipped with infra-red indelible dye and a homing device.  This way when a vehicle is stolen, instead of high-speed chases, they could be recovered electronically and the thief could be identified with a black-light.  If the recovered vehicle is damaged or stripped, the perp, upon his conviction, should take over the payments on the car, and be harassed by the bank for the rest of his life for missed payments!

            If the car is returned unharmed, the judge should build into their sentence, milage and rental fees, and they should still be harassed by the bank.  Besides jail time, they should also be locked in a special wing of the prison, where a medley of alarms would be played over the PA system, interspersed with elevator music.

                              THAT'LL LEARN 'EM!!

   I thought that United Airlines Flight 93 deserved a separate space, but was just as much a part of the tragedy of 911. Little did the brave passengers and crew realize that when they took off from Newark International Airport headed for San Francisco that their flight would be hijacked by four Islamic terrorists. They breeched the cockpit, overpowered the pilots and took control of the plane. Several passengers and crew members made telephone calls learning about the attacks on The World Trade Center and The Pentagon. As a result, the passengers decided mount an assault against the hijackers and take back the plane.  

   The plane crashed in a field outside of Shanksville PA, killing all 44 people on board including the hijackers. It is believed by doing this they prevented the aircraft from hitting their target, either The Whitehouse or The US Capitol. If they hadn’t sacrificed their lives, who know just how much worse it could have been?!?! 

              To those Slimy, cowardly, Devils Disciples ,

                          YOU WILL   PAY!!

                  To those BRAVE people on Flight 93….

                          THANK YOU AND..

                      “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

For several years I’ve been noticing a total lack of discipline in young children.  It seems that parents are allowing rude behavior in their offspring and not teaching them to respect the rights of others.  What ever happened to don’t touch that, or don’t do that, or give that back, it isn’t yours??  You know, civilized guide lines, laws if you will…teaching children right from wrong??  It’s the first step toward obeying certain laws.  People teach their pets not to do bad things, and if they do they’re punished until they correct their behavior.  When house breaking a dog or cat, if they break the rules they’re punished….when they get it right they’re rewarded.  They have to be trained, correct?  Well, so do children.  We as parents are their first teachers.  It’s up to us to show them the difference between right and wrong.  We ARE NOT their friends; we are their PARENTS…their authorities.  If they grow up exhibiting bad behavior, 99% of the time, you better believe it’s OUR fault!!!

BUT...You DON’T hit them, you DON’T call them names.  You TEACH them!  Why do we call it POTTY TRAINING??  Because they have to be trained to go to the bathroom.  They can’t figure it out on their own!  So then, why do some new parents stop there?  What makes you think they can figure out life at such an early age?  They have to be TRAINED!!  Don’t play in traffic…Don’t hit other children…Don’t take those toys, they don’t belong to you…Don’t touch that, it will break…Don’t be rude and talk back to your parents and other adults!  And I’m sick and tired of hearing “He’s expressing himself!” or “She’s exploring her boundaries!”  WHAT BOUNDARIES?!?!  YOU HAVE NOT ESTABLISHED ANY!!

 I grew up with these rules and passed them on to my daughter.  She turned out great!  In the last few years people we know would visit us and bring their kids with them.  In the summertime they would run around my yard and I’d ask them not to.  They’d ask me why not, and I’d answer because there are other people here and you might run into them but more importantly, you could trip on the lawn furniture and be seriously hurt or fall in the pool.  All I had to do was explain the consequences and they’d say “sure Bob, no problem” and still have fun without the running.  They understood that ALL ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!

There was a time, however, when I didn’t have to do this, because their parents would stop them.  But not anymore!!  I truly believe that this lack of discipline, intelligent guidance, respect for others, and lessons in self-control creates the bullies of tomorrow….AND I HATE BULLIES!!!

1)     “VEAL OR NO VEAL!”…Richard Simmons!

2)     ”THE X-RATED FILES!” David Duchovny’!

3)      “ALL IN THE FAMILY WAY!””…Jaime Lynne Spears/ C  Palin!  

4)     “JUDGE JUDY TENUTA!”  What? It could happen!!

5)      “ARE YOU DUMBER THEN A FIRST GRADER?”

       Take your pick of politicians!!”  

6)      “NYPD BLUE MAN GROUP!”  Crimes solved by slimey, blue jugglers who drum!”  

7)      “ VAN PEEBPLES COURT!”  Starring the Father & Son team of Melvin & mario!!!!!  

8)      “SKIN!”  A spin-off from BONES!  

9)      “LAW & ORDER A SANDWICH!”  Rachael Ray!  

10)   "CSI GUAM!”  David Hasselhoff & Erik Estrada!