anaconda-dan's Blog

Hi.

I'm anaconda Dan and I'm a Fox 2 blogger.

All: "Hello Anaconda Dan."

I'm here tonight to discuss some of the side effects of this addiction called "blogging".

I notice a lot of new faces tonight. For some of you this is really your first time as a user ID in Cyberspace (tm), right?

All: murmur, murmur...

Well great! As some of you are relatively new to this, let me point out a few interesting facts you may not know about this experience.

It's called "The Internet". It wasn't invented by Al Gore though. It was conceived by Bob Kahn and Vinton (Vint) Cerf in the early 70's who then created a protocol to link many independent networks to produce what was then called ARPANET. It wasn't very user friendly back then. In fact, my first foray onto the net was back in the early 80's and believe me, there wasn't a lot there, and what was, wasn't easy to get to. Now we have PC's, windows, high-speed access, all of the thing that have brought us all together tonight. Yes, even J.C. (Corchran, not the other JC). No doubt, everyone here has been enjoying their experience, forming new friendships, exchanging ideas, engaging in debate, some even heated. What a wonderful medium!

All: "yes! yes! Murmur, murmur.."

Except.

All: (Hush)

Like all good things, there are a few 'gotcha's.

REALITY

1. The internet is not real. It's not a place. That's right. you can't touch it or hold it. Most laws, as we know them, do not apply, or are unenforceable. The login ID's or nicknames, or aliases you have met, while they ARE USUALLY real people, are not as you would meet them in a real place. Not universally true, but generally. You see, one of the good things that the Internet provides is anonymity. One of the bad things it provides is anonymity. Shielding a real person from reality, and all of it's consequences, can bring out some interesting traits in the average person. Without reality, there's no chance of a physical arse-kicking. This is really what keeps many people in line in the real world. It also prevents people from really saying what's on their mind.

All: "But Mr. Anaconda, that's a BAD thing".

In my way of thinking yes. To a degree. Anyone who knows me personally, will tell you that I'm rather a straight-shooter. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes not. You see, most people don't want to know what others REALLY think. Especially if it's unflattering. "She's fat" may be a truthful statement, but totally unacceptable to the fatty you're referring to. So we don't say it out loud, to keep her from kicking our arse. (I don't know where the gender came from, so don't ask). So we politely keep it to ourselves. There. A polite society.

The internet is not polite. It's brutally honest. People will say EXACTLY what's on their minds at times. You have to understand this, and react appropriately. You can't call the teacher, your Mom, or the Police. YOU have to deal with it. Or not. You can always close your browser. Or you can chose to square off with the offender, and "Let 'er fly"! Sometimes it's fun, other times it can be exhausting. Which brings me to the other 'gotcha'.

TROLLS

We all know of trolls from our childhood as the ugly little buggars who lived under bridges (and ate goats, if you're up on your troll history). They would harass people and not allow people to cross the bridge. They really don't exist in real life. They DO exist on the internet. They don't eat goats, they exist only to harass and irritate. Many time they are young people, but sometimes they can be the old guy down the street who always takes your kid's ball when it lands in his yard. They can also be the nice lady who hands you the program at church. Anonymity. They especially like to prey on new internet citizens, for they are most likely to refer to the rules of reality. The trolls know this and pop up on bulletin board systems, harassing user ID's involved in a normal discussion, name calling, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. They add entries to your blogs, they usually don't go much farther than that. They're opportunists. They're lazy. Trolls pop up everywhere. They only exist to annoy.

All: "But Mr. Anaconda, what can we do about this?"

Ignore them. Trolls only exist when they are fed. When you respond to something nasty a troll has said bout you, you've fed him a tasty morsel. He'll continue to feed until you quit giving him food. Then he'll move on. You're no longer any fun. Remember Trolls are lazy. They'll hunt for food, but they won't open the package.

All: "But can't we have the webmaster ban them?"

Sometimes that works for a while, but remember what I said earlier about the anonymity of the Internet. It's pretty easy to identify a troll by IP or ISP, and them ban them, but trolls are clever. There are ways around that. They'll keep coming back 'til the food is all gone.

I have enjoyed writing this blog tonight, and I hope some of you found it at least mildly entertaining, if not informative. I'm off to the bar now. Perhaps I'll run into a Troll or two there...