aardmoose's Blog

This is the time of year that I love to hate. When Spring arrives each year my spirits begin to awaken with the knowledge that the worst is over and the warm breezes of Summer will soon begin a-wafting; replacing the cold, cruel winds of Winter. As Summer schmoozes it's way onto the scene, those warm happy thoughts of anticipation soon give way to contented sighs of relief as I settle in for the happpier, less painful days to come. Ah Summer, how do I love thee? There are too many days to count.

Yet, as I bask in the warm, even hot weather of the season, there is, lurking in the depths of my being, an uneasiness stirring. It's subliminal presence creating an air of discomfort that casts a pall of unspoken dread. It's shadow follows me where ever I go and what ever I do during the lazy, hazy days. I know what it is, and though I try to deny it's existence, no matter how hard I try to ignore it, it ever remains to taunt me and hinder my happiness. It is the knowledge that, from the first days of Spring on, I what I am enjoying is merely a temporary repite from the merciless, dark, vastness of Winter. It is a ruse to get me to lower my guard. For no matter how warm the days, even as the heat waves dominate the news, (Plug...as seen on Fox29) there is always the unrelenting fact that Winter is just around the corner. The advent of Fall validates my fears and from the first turning leaves to the chilly Holloween celebrations, I know that my self-imposed home seclusion will soon begin again.

True, I love the beauty of the Fall colors and enjoy seeing the grand kids dress up for trick of treat. I try to squeeze the most out of the last vestiges of warmth from the rapidly fading season before I succumb to the lonely days to come. I will only venture outside when it is absolutely vital that I do so. I enjoy the snow from the warmth behind my living room window. My idea of fun in the snow is watching others from behind the aforesaid window as they freeze their behinds off, sledding and snowboarding down the hill in my side yard. As they seem to enjoy it, I am happy for them.

HHowever, behind it all, allowing me to carry on in the face of frigid adversity, is that little voice in the back of my subconscious chanting a mantra of hope. It is the healing song of things to come. It reminds me that sll is not lost because; "Spring is just around the corner" and all will be well again.