Give me a cup of coffee and a deep conversation.

Hi there, I hope that everyone is doing ok. I'm alright, just have alot of things on my mind.

Today I entered my baby boy Denver into the beautiful baby contest... I hope that he wins but if he doesn't that's ok, he will always  be my beautiful boy no matter what!  There's alot of cute babies on there too, I think that it's interesting to read about them.

Anyway, I have been thinking alot about my life and what I am going to do about my future, and it scares me, because I feel like i'm not going to do good enough for some reason. I just recently bought my first car, signed up for rental assistance but the waiting list is long... and I do need to be getting my own place as soon as possible so I do not know if I can wait for that rental assistance. There are some personal issues with where I live right now and all I will mention is alcohol and ciggarette smoke. And I hate that to be around baby!

I am still in school as well and I was hoping to go to a vocational school of some sort soon for maybe something in the medical field??? I am interested in Photography as well so maybe i'll just do both! But for now I just need to find a decent job to bring in some extra income... I need to find a good trustworthy babysitter though. Which is hard to do.

I don't know... I am a firm believer in God and I feel like he will guide me on the right path and help me through.

I also have been having some trouble with my boyfriend, we have been together for a long time now.... a couple years actually...broke up once for nine months though but got back together.... Anywho I am upset with him because he hasn't gotten a job yet.... he claims how much he loves Denver and how much he wants all of us to get our own place together...but he still doesn't have a job yet... I understand that he got his license taken away for some speeding tickets, running a stop sign, and driving without insurance about 8 months ago but he can easily walk or ride a bike to work as well. Now he isn't the biological father of Denver but he accepts himself as the father figure. Denver's biological father wants nothing to do with him, how could you not want something to do with something so cute!? I have no idea, but I go to child-support court May 15th!

I do have alot of stress but I am going to try to put all that aside and just try to be happy and not think about it. In fact, everytime I look at Denver he makes me smile.... he makes me realize that he is my purpose and what keeps me going and on my feet. I will do anything for that little boy!