Rob_Haswell's Blog

So as I am working in my back yard the other day I hear my son talking to his buddy saying,"remember, tomorrow we have to get some honey from that beehive!".

At first, I just smiled and thought, "that's a cute" figuring they were just pretending.  A few moments later I clued in that I was listening to the conversation of two six year old and that they're naive enough to play with a real beehive so I asked, "um, what beehive?!"

The boys quickly showed me not a beehive but a huge hornets next just under our roof overhang! 

The good news is that the next was about 25 feet or more off the ground so the boys were in no danger and couldn't have gotten any honey even if hornets made honey but I was very glad I overheard that innocent conversation and followed up.  Guess it really does pay to listen to our kids!

Well technically it was a vacation but I think I need a vacation from my vacation!

Don't get me wrong, we had a great time but it was a long haul for us as we traveled back to Canada to see our families.  It's a 12 hour ride if you do it straight with only stops for gas.  We broke it up over two days stopping in Lansing Michigan.  Of course, with three kids under 7 and one of them being just 6 months, it was a LONG ride to Grandma's house to say the least!

As much fun as we had, it was good to see the ol' Haswell homestead here in Milwaukee.

The longest drive I take for a while be to Menards or Culver's! :-)

It was a dance with no music this morning but perhaps the 80's ballad "Total Eclipse of the heart" would have be appropriate.

The dance was in the solar system as the moon passed between the earth and the sun forming a total eclipse.  It was not visible from our area but was seen in parts of Canada, northern Greenland, the Arctic, central Russia, Mongolia, and China. The eclipse could then been seen as it moved in a narrow path that ending in northern China’s Silk Road region at sunset there.

The whole event was seen live this morning on Fox 6 Wake Up and you can check it out on line HERE

I told this story on the air the other day but I'll tell it again here...

When I first moved here a couple of years ago, I was excited to go to the State Fair.  I have kids, they love they love a good fair and I love eating fair food too!

However, I was very suspicious of all the cream puss hype! 

EVERYone was talking about the puffs.  They were counting down the days!  They were actually drooling!  Not knowing any better, I was suspicious.  Was this just hype.  I mean, they're just cream puffs right?  How great could the be?

I was SO WRONG!

There are few things in life that actually live up to the hype.  Wisconsin State Fair cream puffs are one of them!  They are awesome and must be experienced to be understood.

My first bite was amazing and I look forward to them every year now too!

What was your first cream puff experience like?

Did you hear the story about the man who shot his lawn mower?

If not here is a short version of the Chris Goodman story on Fox 6:

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EVER BEEN SO ANGRY AT YOUR LAWNMOWER, YOU'VE WANTED TO SHOOT IT?

POLICE SAY 56 YEAR OLD KEITH WALENDOWSKI HAS, HE'S NOW IN JAIL OVER IT.

IT HAPPENED WEDNESDAY MORNING.

COURT DOCUMENTS SAY WALENDOWSKI WHO LIVES IN THIS HOUSE WITH HIS ELDERLY MOM TOOK A SAWED OFF SHOTGUN AND BLEW A HOLE IN HIS LAWNBOY LAWNMOWER.

THE CRIMINAL COMPLAINT SAYS WALENDOWSKI APPEARED TO BE INTOXICATED WHEN HE SHOT UP THE MOWER.

HE TOLD THE OFFICER, HE GOT UPSET BECAUSE THE MOWER WOULDNT START SO IN HIS WORDS, I GOT MY SHOTGUN AND SHOT IT. HE CONTINUED TO SAY I CAN DO THAT, ITS MY LAWNMOWER AND MY YARD, SO I CAN SHOOT IT IF I WANT.

WALENDOWSKI WAS CHARGED WITH FELONY POSSESSION OF A SHORT-BARRELED SHOTGUN AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT WHILE ARMED.

HE FACES SIX YEARS AND THREE MONTHS IN PRISON IF CONVICTED.

IN THE NEWSROOM, CHRIS GOODMAN, FOX 6 NEWS.

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Now first let me say this is in NO WAY ACCEPTABLE. First, owning an illegal firearm is wrong and dangerous. Second, operating a lawn mower let alone a shot gun while drunk is a VERY bad idea. And last but not least shooting anything, anywhere that someone could get hurt is incredibly stupid and illegal.

That said... tell me you haven't wanted to shoot your lawnmower or at least take a bat to it after about 400,000 pulls on that stupid cord with no results?! I have. I admit to kicking an old clunker of a mower I had more than once!

I actually don't mind cutting the grass but when the mower won't start and you're about the break your rotator cuff pulling on the start cord, it can be the most frustrating thing in the world and even a Saint would lose his temper!

My father was, um, famous for his temper. Well, famous in our family at least. He once go so frustrated with a lawnmower that wouldn't start that he threw the thing ( and I do mean threw ) into the trunk and promptly drove to the store that sold it to us to complain and get it fixed.

Dad was certain he'd been sold a clunker.   To prove i,t he dragged the salesman out into the parking lot to show him that the mower wouldn't start. Dad was so confident in the malfunction, that he decided to pull the starter with the mower still IN the trunk.

Problem was, the lawnmower wasn't broken, Dad had just flooded the engine so on the 20 min ride to the hardware store, the engine settled down and was ready to rock. Yes, it fired right up and mulched EVERYthing in our trunk. The sales guy and I jumped back and took cover. Dad just screamed, "son of a BLEEP" and turned it off.

Fortunately for all of us, the trip to the store had not only settle the mower engine, it had settled Dad's temper and after a few embarrassed moments, we all had a good laugh!  Much to my father's chagrin this story still makes us laugh when it comes up at family get togethers!

I try to remember that story when my old mower won't start to help keep my temper from leading me into an embarrassing story for the next generation of Haswell kids. 

Today is "Spoonerism Day!" That of course leads to the question, "What's a Spoonerism?"

Spoonerisms are phrases, sentences, or words in that have swapped sounds. Basically, it's getting your "Mords Wixed". It usually this happens by accident, particularly if you're speaking fast. Come and wook out of the lindow is another example.

Of course, there are many millions of possible Spoonerisms, but the real fun ones are the ones where it makes sense in both the original phrase and in the Spoonerism like, Go and shake a tower instead of Go and take a shower.

Here's a great list of others that I found at funwithwords.com

Have some fun with your words today!

know your blows - blow your nose

go and shake a tower - go and take a shower

tease my ears - ease my tears

nicking your pose  - picking your nose

you have very mad banners  - you have very bad manners

lack of pies  - pack of lies

it's roaring with pain  - it's pouring with rain

sealing the hick  - healing the sick

go help me sod  - so help me God


bowel feast  - foul beast

I'm a damp stealer  - I'm a stamp dealer

wave the sails  - save the whales

mad bunny  - bad money

I'm shout of the hour  - I'm out of the shower

this is the pun fart -  this is the fun part

I hit my bunny phone - I hit my funny bone

it crawls through the fax - it falls through the cracks

soul of ballad  - bowl of salad

One of the worst things about this job is that so many people call and ask me if they should change their plans due to the weather.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind you asking at all.  I enjoy meeting our viewers and chatting about the weather but when you ask me to be  your wedding planner or event planner....

... I have one standard response, "Don't Chase the Weather".

By that I mean, if you're going to change your plans every time there's a threat of inclement weather, you could be forever chasing that perfect day that may never come.

Of course, there are times when events should be canceled or postponed due to the weather.  You shouldn't have that golf tournament on a stormy afternoon and you shouldn't ask kids to ride the bus in a blizzard.  You have a responsibility to keep your event "weather safe".   However, if you're trying  to time it so that you get perfect weather for your camping trip or your wedding, you'll be forever making changes and never enjoying life!

I always simply suggest that you have a plan B.  If you have a camping trip planned, be sure you have a deck of cards and a water proof tent.  If you're getting married be sure you have good food and an indoor place to eat it!  Remember, the event is really about the people not the weather.  Yes a perfect sunny day for your nuptials is always nice but it won't make or break your wedding.

Hey, sometimes bad weather can make an even much more memorable!  Think about the Packers playing in the snow or that camping trip when your kids played in the mud puddles until they looked like space aliens!

Don't plan around the weather - plan FOR the weather.

Have a great weekend!

I suppose I never really thought of golf as a family sport but for me it was yesterday as my son, Noah, and I wend down to Brown Deer park for the family fun day! 

What a great event and it was FREE!

The kids got a chance to hit some irons both long and chipping and then do some putting and each kid got some one on one time with a golf pro!  The pro's were great with the kids and it was fascinating to watch the kids get better in just a few minutes with the guys who know what they are doing!

Kids are perfect for that kind of stuff, they actually do listen.  Unlike adults who always think they know better, kids will do what their are told until they learn the bad habits.

I'm not much of a golfer really, I only go out for charity tournaments and a couple of times with friends but Noah announced a few weeks back that he wanted to learn how to golf so here we are with golf lessons and a teeny tiny golf bag in the garage!  So maybe, I'll see you out at the driving range someday soon!

For those of you who share my fascination with the weather, there was a really cool phenomena Friday morning and I thought I'd share.

First off, Friday had a bunch of stuff going on from flood warnings, to squall lines and even a wake low but it also had something called a "Mesoscale Convective Vortex"!

It's essentially just a mid-level low that gets cooked up by a large complex of thunderstorms but with an MCV, the circulations doesn't read the ground level.

You see, storms release huge amounts of energy and that can add heat to the mid atmosphere and then boom you have these little lows. They're common but not always easy to see on a satellite image. Sometimes you can see them when the thunderstorms dissipate.

It looks like a little swirl or spiral on the satellite picture.

If an untrained eye saw it on a visible satellite loop it would be understandable to think it was a mini hurricane something but it's something that actually happens a lot in the summer but Friday's was interesting because it was an extreme example. They're usually not as large and not as easy to spot.

Below is a map from the local NWS office that shows the weather features that were present around 11:45 AM and then on top of that is the visible satellite image from the same time. Tell me that's not cool! Weather Geeks say HO! :-)

CLICK HERE to read the National Weather Service post on this.



- written with input from the NWS Office Milwaukee/Sullivan website.

Favre vs Carson. That's a lop sided battle no matter what arena - comedic or sporting! But it's not my point. I'll get to that in a minute.

First, I have got to say it's amazing how this story exploded and just keeps on blowing up bigger and bigger. I knew it was big but last night when a friend of mine named Kelly, who's not a big football fan herself outside of THE Ohio State University football, blurted out in the middle of a visit, "What's the deal with Favre?!". She was more than curious she was befuddled, confused and I think a little peeved and she's only been in Wisconsin about as long as I have!

I bring it up to illustrate just how far reaching this story is and how almost EVERYONE has an opinion. Yes... even your local weatherman.

Now, I'm not a sports guy and I'll leave the arguing over what Favre has done for the Packers and what the Packers have done for Favre etc. to the TV Jocks on the far side of the building but I do have an opinion based on what I do for a living which is TV and weather.

The weather option isn't really relevant other than to say when we retire a hurricane name it STAYS retired.

However, my TV opinion is a little more thought out and this is where Johnny and Bret come into the picture.

Johnny Carson was one of the all time great TV personalities. Even I, a Letterman fan, feel that Johnny may have been the greatest of all time when it comes to the format of the late night talk show. He did it all from sketch comedy to stand up to desk interviews and nobody was better. Different maybe but never better.

When Carson decided to retire he took his time. He thought it out. He went out at the top of his game with his show still the dominant late night option. And when he took his final bow and handed over the reigns to Jay Leno that was it. He retired. He stood on his amazing record and took a seat in the audience of late night TV.

Now, I am NOT a Jay Leno fan for a variety of reasons, but can you imagine what would have happened and how Johnny would have looked if a few months before Leno's official debut Carson said... maybe I want to come back. Better than that, maybe I want to go over to Fox or ABC and do my show there? It might have been understandable after all, he was on stage night after night for decades and he could have cashed in huge! But it would have taken the shine off his image and many of his fans may not have stuck with him. It would also have been unfair to Jay Leno who, for better for for worse, earned the job as his replacement.

No, Carson retired and no amount of money, or insatiable itch to be on TV would have brought him back.

How much of this applies to Brett Favre?

I don't know.

Did Favre not take enough time to think it through before he retired? Maybe, only he knows that..

Does he want a big pay day? I very much doubt that as he has all the money he'd ever want and could make more retired than he would on the field.

I don't know how much of my Carson story applies other than I am confident that unlike the all time king of late night, Brett Favre isn't as clear on what a return will do to his long time image and standing as one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.

And in a final thought, I want to make it clear that I do agree he is one of, if not the greatest QB that has ever played. Not just for his skill as a player but for his skill as a motivator and his amazing ability to light a fire in even the least likely football fan like me. Before I moved to Wisconsin I probably watched a game or two every season. Last year, I watched or listened to at least part of them all!

Just remember, the sequel is hardly ever as good as the original.

No not the weather drought - we could use one of those.

I have been a bit dry on the blog lately  but you're about to get a two-fer if you're interested so hang in there!

And thanks for reading - we're almost at 12 thousand views!!!

- Rob

Happy 4th!

I am looking forward to this 4th of July more than the last few because for the first time this year we're going to the fireworks!  With my crazy hours, I haven't be able to go in years past but this year the whole Haswell family will be taking in the festivities because it's on a Friday!

That plus the fact that my kids will be in the parade in our little town as part of the T-ball league makes this an extra fun 4th for us.

Interestingly our very first 4th of July here in the U.S. was rather uneventful.  Not because we didn't feel like a part of the holiday but more because we really didn't know what to expect and where to go for fun! 

At the time we'd only been living "south of the border" - as we Canadians say - for about 6 months so we didn't know too many local folks.  Up to that point, our only expereience with Independance Day was via popular television shows and movies!  That of course gave us a rather enhanced view of what happens on the fourth.  We didn't expect to have to make any plans what-so-ever!  We thought we'd just step out the front door and there'd be parties on every corder!  I think we kind of exptected to go to sleep on the 3rd and wake up to a bunting clad. red white and blue holiday on the 4th!  Of course that didn't happen but it's a fun little story that we look back on these many years later.

Here's hoping you have a fatastic time this July 4th!

One of the many things I enjoy as a Canadian/American ( that is how I see myself these days ) is a whiz bang party week to kick off July!

Of course, I will be joining you in celebrating the July 4th holiday - my kids are even in our local parade but I'll also be celebrating Canada Day on July 1st!

What's that? 

Short answer:  July 4th for Canadians.

Semi short answer:  It commemorates the date in 1867 when what was then Upper and Lower Canada came together to form a new and independent nation called simply Canada.

If one were to ignore the obvious flag differences, you probably wouldn't be able to tell a Canada Day party from a July 4th party.  All the same things occur.  Backyard barbecues are common although with more back bacon and fewer brats.  Fireworks are a standard with huge shows in most of the major cities.  Parades are also a part of the fun as people dress themselves up in Red and White and people run around drawing little maple leaves on your face!  Community picnics are big but so are family get togethers and just like here you're likely to see a backyard football game - just with a larger ball - or maybe some street hockey with friends and family.

In my almost 3 years in Milwaukee I have made contact with a few fellow Canadians who, like me, have found a home here in Wisconsin so to you I say Happy Canada Day and I extend that to anyone looking for another excuse to party this week!

If you're still reading and still interested, the really really long answer to the question of "What is Canada Day?" is below.  It is from the official Canadian Heritage site so you'll see some different spellings on some words like "colour".

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On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck, called upon all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1st.

The July 1 holiday was established by statute in 1879, under the name Dominion Day.

On the 50th anniversary of Confederation in 1917, the new Centre Block of the Parliament Buildings, was dedicated as a memorial to the Fathers of Confederation and to the valour of Canadians fighting in the First World War in Europe.

The next big celebration was held in 1927 to mark the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation. It was highlighted by the laying of the cornerstone by the Governor General of the Confederation Building on Wellington Street and the inauguration of the Carillon in the Peace Tower.

Since 1958, the government has arranged for an annual observance of Canada's national day with the Secretary of State of Canada in charge of the coordination. The format provided for a Trooping the Colours ceremony on the lawn of Parliament Hill in the afternoon, a sunset ceremony in the evening followed by a mass band concert and fireworks display.

Another highlight was Canada's Centennial in 1967 when Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II attended the celebrations with Parliament Hill again being the backdrop for a large scale official ceremony.

The format changed in 1968 with the addition of multicultural and professional concerts held on Parliament Hill including a nationally televised show. Up until 1975, the focus of the celebrations, under the name "Festival Canada", was held in the National Capital Region during the whole month of July and involved numerous cultural, artistic and sport activities, as well as municipalities and voluntary organizations. The celebration was cancelled in 1976 but was reactivated in 1977.

A new formula was developed in 1980 whereby the National Committee (the federal government organization charged with planning Canada's Birthday celebrations) stressed and sponsored the development of local celebrations all across Canada. "Seed money" was distributed to promote popular and amateur activities organized by volunteer groups in hundreds of local communities. The same approach was also followed for the 1981 celebrations with the addition of fireworks displays in 15 major cities across the nation.

On October 27, 1982, July 1st which was known as "Dominion Day" became "Canada Day".

Since 1985, Canada Day Committees are established in each province and territory to plan, organize and coordinate the Canada Day celebrations locally. Grants are provided by the Department to those committees.

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I told you it was the LONG answer! :-)

I've talked about this numerous times in the past both in this blog and on the air during Wake Up but just to recap ... I am about as athletic as a drunken three toed sloth. 

My father fancied himself a bit of a jock.  He was pretty good at hockey and held his own in most other sports but he was hoping for a son that would eclipse all that and shine on the field of sports battle.  As a result he was enthusiastic to say the least when I played baseball or hockey. 

Dad would scream and shout and make more noise than anyone cared to hear in the stands.  It wasn't a big deal in hockey because I was way down on the ice with a helmet on so I couldn't really hear it but in baseball it was a nightmare.  When it came to the great American pastime, this Canadian boy stunk and stunk badly! 

Point of clarification here - I played softball not baseball.  There were few if any of what we called "hardball" leagues in Canada at the time (1970s) and none in my area.

I make that point because even with a larger ball I wasn't much of a hitter. Short of playing with a beach ball, I wasn't likely to get a "big hit" but that didn't stop dear old Dad from shouting about a big hit.  His favorite was "you're due!   you're over-due!" which always made me cringe because essentially he was pointing out to my teammates as well as the opposing team that my batting average was just north of a big goose egg!  There were other cringe worthy calls like "get in the game", "where are you throwing?" and "dear lord stop picking dandelions!" Alright I made that last up but you get the idea.

All that being said, you'd think I'd sit quietly and cheer politely for my kids at t-ball right?  Wrong.  I can't seem to help myself!  I'm hooting and hollering just like dear old Dad!  Even borrowing some of his favorite lines like, "run it out" when the ball barely goes a foot or two or his classic "go go go".  Is it in the DNA or something?  Perhaps.

In an effort to break the cycle, I am much better ( I think ) at avoiding any cheers that point out the deficiencies of my kids athleticism unlike the old man.  But, I am still one of the noisy parents and I don't seem to care.

My point?  Well, I guess I understand my father a little better now.  I don't have the same desire to see my kids as stars on the field as he did but it doesn't seem to matter when it comes to being vocal in the stands.  Dad may not have made the best choices in what he said but now I understand why he couldn't keep quiet.  He was a father and the desire to tell the world "that's my kid" just can't be denied!  In a way, I'm impressed that he kept cheering even as it became more and more evident that I was more likely to win an Emmy or a Tony than a World Series or Stanley Cup.

Well, back in the record winter of 2007/08 we swore we wouldn't do it but it has begun... we've started to complain about the heat!

With temperatures in the 80s and high humidity, it's understandable and it leads to the classic "It's so hot..." jokes!  

Here are a few that I like, feel free to add your own!

It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It's so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones

It's so hot that...

... birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

... farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

... cows are giving evaporated milk.

It's so hot that I have discovered that asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot that I have found out (the hard way) that my seat belt buckle could be used as a branding iron.

It's so hot, I can roast marshmallows on my belly

It's so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps!