Marks Blog

Decided to take a day off and headed to the golf course. Talk about a perfect day for it! Couldn't get any better than today's conditions.

I've taken two lessons so far (with two more to go) and found myself improving from the tee - my drives now average 200+ yards and relatively accurate fairway placement - yet my subsequent club selection for the second shot seems to add strokes. Not to mention my typical 3-putt on the green. My wedge shooting is exponentially better than when I started.

So, I need to work on my second shot, with woods and irons. But three-putting is killing me. Back to the driving range...

My question has nothing to do with golf:

When you take a day off to relieve stress at work, what do you do?

I fly to Vancouver tomorrow, so leave your best open thread comments.

I expect this business trip to be the worst I have ever had (not that Vancouver is bad, I just know I have a real hornet's nest I am flying into), so if your comments are not about roses without thorns I will not be surprised...

Have a great week!

On my way to Montreal. This should be a much better trip than the one I did in January - mainly because of the weather. Since it is business I will have little time for sightseeing during the week, though I plan on taking a trip to Niagara Falls next weekend.

See y'all later!

From Marks' email inbox:

Recently, the Administration said each one of us would get $300.  

 It  was supposed to be $800 but they dropped it to a $300 tax rebate.     There are other amounts depending on individual circumstances.....

HOWEVER

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, and neither will help the  American economy.

 We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way I can see  to keep that money here at home is to buy beer, spend it on prostitution or play golf as those are the only businesses still in the U.S.!  Your cooperation will be appreciated......

*In the spirit of giving, hope you laugh with me on these email jokes:*

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows Them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90% It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Marks' Note: No, this is not about a political campaign, because every ad is dishonest in politics.

I'm getting ready to go to work, and turned on the TV for the latest on how much snow has fallen in Montreal (about an inch). There was a commercial running for a product called Buckley's Cough Syrup (do a Goggle search). Their tagline:

It tastes awful. And it works!

How refreshing to see a little honesty in advertising. I have no idea if it works, but I am certain their claim about taste is accurate.

[***Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a Scotch and soda along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.
I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "What is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now I have to finish your lawn."***]

Sent to me via email. It has a certain irony that I find refreshing.

Dumbest Commercial of the Year Award goes to Bud Light. It is bad enough that I dislike commercials to begin with, but I can't stand a pointless ad, and it is worse when compounded with stupid.

Dude!

This is a crack-up: World‘s Biggest Liar is crowned!

I like the theme of this, as professional politicians and lawyers are banned due to their unfair advantage!

What do you do when your girlfriend dumps you and you are on the other side of the globe?

This Marine decided to get even.

I have a very good theory why these types of movies fail:

They s-u-c-k. Okay, maybe I need to explain a little more:

When someone decides to make a movie “based” on actual and current events, then weaves a narrow political theme into the plot, the movie immediately falls into the propaganda category. While I like to consider myself fair (if a bit unbalanced), I make it a point to avoid propaganda films, as my hard earned money and time has better uses. This is why I will never see any Michael Moore documentaries (even if it is free, I am still wasting my time watching).

That point is made in this article. Mr. Goldberg predicts, more or less, that "Lions for Lambs" would suffer the same fate as its genre predecessors - and he was right based on current interest in the film.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen "American Gangster" yet? It features two of my favorite "modern" actors, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. I plan to see it this weekend.

From an email:

>In a crude way, this puts the pyramid structure in perspective...:)
>
>1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
>
>2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING
>
>3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
>
>4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
>
>5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
>
>    and........
>
>6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
>
>
>THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
>
>The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls
>become.

Marks Note: I don't do tennis or golf. You can safely figure why...

A dog had followed his owner to school.  His owner was a  
fourth grader at a public elementary school.  However,
when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and
made it all the way to the child's classroom before a
teacher noticed and shoo'ed him outside, closing the
door behind him.  

The dog sat down, whimpered and  
stared at the closed doors.  

Then God appeared beside
the dog, patted his head, and said, "Don't feel bad fella'....
They won't let ME in either."