Georgies-Girl's posts about:
Entertainment
See all posts with this tag
Have you all voted? BG's picture is still in the running. She is under Nature and the link is as follows:
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/photo ... ng-machineHere is her picture:
There
are 30 pictures to grade. Lots of good ones, too! Highest is 7.06 -
her's is 6.42. Let's give her and the rest a vote if you haven't done
so. Her picture is 14 out of the top 30 right now.
Thanks for the blog.
A Short Story
Nov 2, 2008 | 9:33 AM PST
Category:
Entertainment
I believe this is the best short story I have ever seen or read!
I got this in an email... Just had to pass it on. It is Hilarious! This
is one of the funniest clips that I ever heard!!! You have to listen to
this guys description.
http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf
An Email From Ireland
Jul 19, 2008 | 11:43 AM PST
Category:
Entertainment
an e-mail from Ireland
An email from
Ireland to all of their brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your
political affiliation:
'We, in Ireland , can't figure
out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States
On one side, you had
a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep
his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against
a
lawyer,
who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't
even like the country her husband wants to run
!
Now...On the other
side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with
the
appropriate 'Mc'
terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer
distributorship !!
What in God's name
are ya
lads
thinkin over in the colonies?
A Bit of Trivia for You!
Jul 11, 2008 | 8:43 PM PST
Category:
Entertainment
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the
cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the
deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a
square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting
on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could
be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only
one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from
under the others. The solution was a metal plate with 16 round
indentations, called a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the
iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem
was make Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much
faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature
dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron
cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off
a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was a
vulgar expression, didn't you?
For All You Smart People
Jul 5, 2008 | 4:18 PM PST
Category:
Entertainment
I could not figure it out and had
to look at the answer. See if you can figure out what these words have in
common. I will post the answer later...
1 Banana
2 Dresser
3 Grammar
4 Potato
5 Revive
6 Uneven
7 Assess
Are you peeking or have you already given up?
Give it another try . Look at each word
carefully.
(You'll kick yourself when you
discover the answer.)
This Is
Cool.
Answer: No, it is not that they
all have at least 2 double
letters.
(Thought I had the answer, but I did not go far
enough.)
OK - Have fun with this, and again, thanks for the blog.
This is an e-mail attachment I got today from a friend. There is a lot of wisdom in his words. The world will miss him. I know I certainly will...
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller
buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have
bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We
have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh
too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We
talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added
years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We
conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but
not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered
the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men
and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are
the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken
homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is
much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when
technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose
either to share this insight, or to just hit delete..
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are
not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because
that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't
cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved
ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when
it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that
person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share
the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by
the moments that take our breath away.
A Woman's Week at the Gym
Jun 24, 2008 | 2:20 AM PST
Category:
Entertainment
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something
wrong
with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into
a
regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday
this year, my daughter (the dear)
purchased a week of personal training at
the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape
since being a high school
cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a
good idea to go ahead
and give it a try.
I called the club and made
my reservations with a personal trainer
named Brad, who identified himself as
a 26-year-old aerobics instructor
and model for athletic clothing and swim
wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The
club
encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my
progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough
to get out of bed, but found it was
well worth it when I arrived at the
health club to find Brad waiting for
me. He is something of a Greek god -
with blond hair, dancing eyes and a
dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Brad gave
me a tour and showed me the
machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in
which he conducted his
aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Brad was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was
already
aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going
to
be a FANTASTIC week-!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a
whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Brad made me
lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then
he put weights on
it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but
I made the full mile.
Brad's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I
feel GREAT-!! It's a whole
new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my
teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and
forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as
long as I didn't try to
steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club
parking lot.
Brad was impatient with me, insisting that my screams
bothered other
club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the
morning
and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My
chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Brad put me on the
stair
monster. Why the h--l would anyone invent a machine to simulate
an
activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Brad told me it would help
me
get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other s--t
too.
THURSDAY :
Brad was waiting for me with his
vampire-like teeth exposed as his
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full
snarl. I couldn't help being
a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie
my shoes.
Brad took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not
looking, I ran
and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny b---h to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that Brad more than any human being has ever
hated any other
human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny,
anemic,
anorexic little #@*. If there was a part of my body I could move
without
unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Brad wanted me to
work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if
you don't want dents in
the floor, don't hand me the d--mn barbells or
anything that weighs more than
a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off
and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher.
Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach
or the
choir director?
SATURDAY:
Brad left a message on
my answering machine in his grating, shrilly
voice wondering why I did not
show up today. Just hearing him made me
want to smash the machine with my
planner. However, I lacked the
strength to even use the TV remote and ended
up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go
and
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year
my
daughter (the little sh---t) will choose a gift for me that is fun --
like
a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to
bend
over, he would have sprinkled the floor with
diamonds?
I would love to take credit for this, but I received it in an E-mail today. Enjoy! And thanks for the Blog.
GOD verses SATAN
Feb 25, 2008 | 3:59 PM PST
Category:
Entertainment
In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and Woman could live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said “with sprinkles!” and they gained ten pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 10.
So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-island and Creamy Ranch Dressing and Garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, “I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” and Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained more pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained more pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and it’s 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Oh, yeah! And super-size ‘em.”
And Satan said, “It is good.” And man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMO’s!
For the Ladies - Mid Life Crisis (or Menopause)
I’ve seen two shows lately. They went on and on about how mid-life is a great time
For women. A little while ago, Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be…
Puhleeeeeeeze!
I’ve had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60, or maybe just pushing your luck, you’ll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache and misplaced eyebrows that are now growing on our chin.
In mid-life, women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag!
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid -life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, “Listen, honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.”
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: “For this, I have stretch marks?”
In mid-life, your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can retain is water
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs by Rand-McNally - more red and blue lines then an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective…You start pondering the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice Ice Cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when?
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we’ve acquired.
That’s my philosophy, and I’m sticking to it!
REMEMBER: Stressed spelled backwards is desserts!
Author unknown
Writing Blogs
Oct 28, 2007 | 8:54 PM PST
Category:
Entertainment
Why do some people write blogs, then turn off response for them. It is most frustrating to find a blog I would like to respond to and not find a comment area for it. Some even ask questions. How do they know what the answers will be unless they can receive responses?
