Executivemom's Blog

While it is probably true that that Shattered Reality would not have existed had the author’s daughter not been the subject of such an appalling crime, it is irrefutable that we are all much richer for it. Moreover, while readers may find the narrative alarming it is at the same time very helpful.

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent. After being sexually abused, the unfortunate victim may suffer and experience a multitude of consequences resulting of this hideous act such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, tendency to re-victimization in adulthood, and countless more.

What I found mind boggling, when I did a little research, was that according to recent statistics it is estimated that 20% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children. And these are the ones we know about or have been reported.

Most disturbing, and as frequently demonstrated, most of these sexual offenders are generally familiar with their prey and there is a wide array of perpetrators from neighbours, babysitters, family friends, to relatives as fathers, grandparents, uncles, cousins, etc. Another painful facet of this repugnant crime is that men perpetrate most child molestation although this is not to say that women do not commit abuse against young boys, however, percentage wise, there exists a considerable gap between the two sexes. Many of these devious criminals are everyday individuals who are difficult to recognize, as they are often very intelligent and cunning.

All of this brings us to Kimberly Cheryl’s Shattered Reality that recounts the story of how her thirteen-year old daughter Tivona was the victim of sexual molestation committed by her seventy-seven year old grand-uncle. And what is most shocking and repulsive is that the crime had been continuously committed over a period of three years since Tivona was ten years old. Appalling is the fact that the perpetrator succeeded in “grooming” his grand-niece to believe that it was their little secret and if she did tell anyone, no one would believe her. Furthermore, her parents wouldn’t love her and her family would fall apart because of her

We also discover that this apparently “nice and respected uncle” had a history of molesting children as far back as fifty years when he was twenty-four-a family secret that was kept under wraps and swept under the rug.

There is nothing worse than having to sit beside a child in pain and being unable to do little to help. Moreover, apart from the physical and psychological damage that is suffered, we also have, as pointed out in Shattered Reality, the inadequacies of our justice system that moves at a very slow pace, and furthermore it is a crime that no one is too eager to discuss. As the author states, “our justice system is failing us all. The system has a habit of dumping rape and child molestation cases.” Did you know that a very high percentage of rapists and child molesters walk the streets free while their victims have little choice than to pursue the perpetrators within the civil law system asking for compensation based on damages?

Offering interesting and informative insights, Shattered Reality is a practical guide and introduction into a crime that is a reminder of another repugnant peril at our doorstep that must be openly addressed. Kimberly Cheryl has a good grasp of the complexities of this subject and I fully concur with her that with low conviction rates, there is hardly any deterrence to stop this hideous crime. Consequently, it is crucial that we talk about it in order to protect our children and we must as much as possible educate ourselves as well as our children.

To help us, Shattered Reality includes a very helpful chapter that outlines the importance of early education and intervention. The book also includes a child sexual abuse fact sheet for parents, teachers, and other caregivers that have been developed by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN). The fact sheet discusses child sexual abuse myths and facts, what can you do if your child discloses that she has been sexually abused, what is child sexual abuse and who is sexually abused and why don’t children tell about sexual abuse. In addition, there is an extensive list of resources that are listed with their online addresses. (review by Norm Goldman at Bookpleasures.com

Please help me spread the word of this incredible "silent epidemic" - we need to change our way of thinking and educate our children...not against strangers but against ANY ONE who does innapropriate things to them.  The consequences are life long.  I hope in some small way, our ordeal can help others. Thank you

Click HERE to buy your copy

The weekend is finally upon us and we are all waiting for the clock on the wall to slowly make it's way to 5pm so we can make a "mad rush" for the door and escape for a few short days of - well, whatever helps you relax.

I really do believe that stress has a huge effect on us - even when we say we "can handle it". When I'm overly stressed, I get more stomach aches, more migraines, I'm more worn out. (oh and my kids will tell you I have a very SHORT temper). For others who "burn both ends of the candle", it means high blood pressure, heart disease, ulcers and strokes. Some turn to smoking, alcohol and drugs - all of which have their own side effects and issues.

This is a very stressful time we are living in. High gas prices, lower wages, lost jobs, expensive medical care and home foreclosures which sadly are leading people to kill themselves over the thought of the impending problems with no foreseeable solutions.

Since I work out of my house, there are times I have it easier to "just walk away" for a few minutes to relax and regroup. I don't wait for the weekend. On the other hand, it is with me ALWAYS and like last night I'm up until 2 am doing work related items.

I guess as the weekend approaches, my question to you is, what do you do or where do you go when you are "frazzled"? Is this something you can do throughout the day or week so you don't have to wait until the weekend and "everything that's been bottled up blows"?

I read yesterday about a new place that you can go and have a pedicure with your feet in a pond of carp. Not quite my idea of relaxing, could do that in the creek on our farm but I do go on our deck and listen to the water fountain my husband built. The soothing trickle of the water triggers memories of the days I spent at home with my parents and sisters (we had a waterfall off of our deck there). What wonderful carefree time. Then there are times I wonder off to the corner of the yard to our forgotten sand box that the kids have outgrown and sit by myself and build a sandcastle. It makes me feel like a kid again but it also conjures up images of vacations on the beach, relaxing, reading a book, watching the kids run and play and giggle. Just a moment to "regroup" and collect myself and my inner peace.

So what is it you do in these crazy times that helps you regroup? (Would love some new ideas. Although there are days I would love a nice, quiet, little, padded room, it is cheaper than a trip to the psychiatrist that's for sure! :)

hey bloggers - a reminder that our wonderful safety education program talking to teens ages 13 - 20 (and parents) on safe dating choices, drinking and driving, self defense, safe surfing for the computers....just in time to celebrate April's Sexual Assault Awareness Month....

Evening to begin with a fashion show put on by local teen girls at 6pm (dresses donated by David's Bridal and sandwiches by Psghettis), followed by the speaker programs - open house style - until 9pm....all this fun and education for $15 / person and the proceeds will be helping Backstoppers!

Come one, come all - boys, girls, parents - we are looking forward to a successful turn out and an opportunity to educate a lot of teens...

South County YMCA by St Anthony's Hospital....Thank you to all for their support!

Have a SAFE and wonderful weekend!

Okay - know I have been more than overwhelmed putting together our fundraiser so haven't been blogging much and now two in one night but just couldn't pass this one up!
Spend my evening reading about the world and anything that can help me in my education of employees and R.A.D. students during my presentations / lectures / seminars....So this is what came up tonight for Self Defense...I Have to Say that i Believe My Children All Took This Self Defense Course and I Just Didn't Know About It Because They Practice ALL of These Moves On ME! Have a Great Evening - sure the kids know more but don't want to give them any help or more ideas:

Valentine's day (or V-Day for some) means many different things to people.

To my husband? It's just another stressful gift giving event. Does he have enough money to buy what he wants (thinks he has to "keep up with the Joneses")? And will he pick "just the right gift"? After 24 Valentine's Days, what should he get?  And it's just another holiday - so close to Christmas and not far from my birthday and our Anniversary….Yep, one more stressful day for him…

To my best friend who's single?  It's a day she tries to avoid and "sleep through" because she feels it's a day for "couples" and just another reminder that she doesn't have anyone special right now and her "biological clock is ticking" (something that's driven by society and isn't true at all)

To my teen-aged daughter? Peer pressure to have a "date" or "boyfriend" as well….

To my mother-in-law? Since she was widowed so close to Valentine's Day a couple years ago, it's an extra sad and lonely day. As others celebrate, she remembers and mourns.

To a radio station in West Virginia?  -- A Charleston radio station is observing Valentine's Day with a reminder that Cupid sometimes misses his mark. WKLC-FM, better known as Rock 105, is giving away a free divorce. Valentine's Day isn't all hearts and flowers, says WKLC Program Director Jay Nunley. There is a darker side, he said, "where maybe you despise your spouse and resent the entire day."

To me?  it's just another day for the card, flower and candy industry to try to suck money out of us.  Why do we need a holiday to show love?  I don't need anything special for this day….for me, my Valentine's comes all year long with unexpected flowers when I'm down, a back rub when desperately needed for my pain, kind words and encouragement.  I love opportunities to give gifts but I'm really given cherished presents all year so don't need a "special day"…. if you can't remember to say how you care during the rest of the year…

So for all the others, those single, those widowed, those teens - why not take advantage of this day to do something "special" for yourself? Why not show yourself some "love"? We are our own best friend…. why not treat ourselves that way this Valentine's Day? Take the time to read that book you've been meaning to read, go for a massage, take an extra long , warm, relaxing bath with no interruptions…. take advantage of this holiday and relax and pamper yourself for once! What a great present….

After all that, what makes your heart flutter this Valentine's Day? Or any special memory or gift you've received that you'd like to share?

No matter your position in life right now, enjoy yourself - take advantage of the day to take care of the most important person - YOU!

Today, I entered into my self-defense high school girl's gym class, we decided to touch on a "lighter side of safety".  Two of the girls are going to be turning 16 and have large parties planned for the weekend.  We discussed environmental awareness and making logical, healthy, "safe"  life - choices that would keep them alive and well to celebrate many more birthdays to come.

Now, here is the thing that I don't understand.  Oh the excitement…I too remember my calendar. How my friends and I counted the days down from our 15th birthday to the time we would get our license and ultimately more responsibility and "freedom".  The surprise party ….the "Sweet 16" corsage ….the use of the car keys (every once in a while to get to and from work, etc - okay so my little sisters each got a new car too but that's a gripe from a neglected "oldest" child and a story for another day). 

The excitement for the girls today - Parties… or more like "Balls"….rented country clubs and party rooms at the Ritz-Carlton.  A Toga event and a masquerade.  Catered food. Limos for the birthday girl and friends. Hundreds of guests.  Are these "Sweet 16" parties or are they wedding receptions?  I guess I have heard about the move to these type of events but …. I truly feel sorry for my 14 year old because, well, NO WAY!

Their stories reminded me of an article I read the other day about the recent gifts from the tooth fairy and her outlandish escapades….

The tooth fairy has lost her ever-lovin' mind. Rumors started swirling last year at the Mason Ridge Elementary sandbox about teeth going for a record high. It was reported that a kindergartner found $50 under his pillow. For a single tooth. Not 50 cents. We're talking a fresh, crisp Ulysses S. Grant.  The news spread faster than head lice and led to incidents in certain West County homes like this one:  Six-year-old Miles Baker wakes up and checks under his pillow after losing his third tooth. After uncovering a $2 bill, he comes running downstairs, wailing, "I keep losing all these teeth and getting such cheap prices!"
His parents were flabbergasted at the going rate.

I am flabbergasted at all this…I went to a small, private college, my friends had money - they would wreck a vehicle and dad would ship them another new one within the week. Always amazed me…jealousy at 18 because I had to work for what I had (although my dad never deprived me he taught me the value of work and money)….but today as a parent and a responsible taxpayer…I have to sit and wonder, what are we teaching our children?  What will happen to them when they try to spread their wings and fly on their own? Who will treat them the way these parents do?  Their bosses and co-workers aren't going to "spoil" them.  What happens when they can't pay their own bills or manage their money - they move back home? Then what? We have a society of young adults who don't know how to function?  Eventually a 40 year old lost in the world, spoiled and broke not knowing what to do when they "lose" their parents? Seen it happen - not pretty….

Although each generation wants to do more for, give more to the next than what they had, are we really "helping" our children with all of this excess? What values are we teaching them? Just like anything else (can be said for welfare as well)…people don't really appreciate anything they have if they haven't had some vested interest in it…if they haven't had to "work" for it…

What's your opinion on the issue?  Beyond the elaborate parties and tooth fairy gifts, what about paying your children to do chores? (We don't - chores are for being a functioning human in my house - we all work together…extras get paid for, expectations don’t)  Or do you give cash incentives for grades? If so, how much and what is acceptable?  (as a child, I received a large monthly allowance but out of that, I had to buy my own clothes, pay for my own activities, etc. so if your money was gone - well, budgeting became very important…we even paid "taxes" - that money was taken out and given on Sundays at church to show you didn't get all you earned…just simple basic life lessons to help make us better and more productive adults)

Your Thoughts?

Today marks the anniversary of my best friend's death. My favorite saying "There's no one like dad, except granddad." As the oldest and first born in a family of all girls, I was truly blessed with two incredible heroes in my life. I am definitely a "daddy's little girl" and my granddad, "Pawpaw", was always my best friend and hero. In his eyes, I could do "no wrong". His love was unconditional and I never doubted it. He would have given me the moon if he could. Today, he has been gone for 13 years.

I still remember the day I came home to find my husband and daughter waiting on the porch for me to tell me the "news" of his heart attack while I was out of town working. That moment of loss will forever be imprinted on my mind. I never thought I'd be able to survive a single day without him and my Nana but I have. They are with me always. They shaped so much of who I am, it is hard for them not to be there. On my most stressful days now, when I close my eyes and dream, he comes across a golf course (one of his favorite places) and wraps his arms around me and hugs me. No words, my grandma is in the background watching. We stand quietly as he absorbs my pain and makes it "all better" like he always did and then he will quietly take her hand and walk away "into the sunset" until that next time he is needed.

Every year, I approach this particular day with dread. The worst has already happened but when I open my eyes in the morning, I feel the emptiness and loss all over again. This year, I look forward to watching the Oprah Winfrey production by Lloyd Kramer and Mitch Albom "For One More Day"….

As a child, spending time with my Pawpaw, I took those moments and memories for granted. I was naive. He would always be there for me…one phone call away….Today, as an adult wanting to hear his voice, smell his cologne, listen to his wise advice and receive one of his warm bear hugs, what would I do if I was given just "one more day"? Oh what a blessing that would be! And what would I do with those 24 hours? I know I wouldn't waste one single second of them…I also know I wouldn't want them to end - would I be able to say "good bye" once again when my day was over with? I'd be selfish I'm afraid and want him to stay … (that child in me coming out) …He loved to golf and bowl. We used to spend a week every summer on the "Great Lakes" fishing with them and many of my funniest childhood memories come from those trips as a family. We spent quiet afternoons, the 3 of us at there house talking over lunch - a hard boiled egg, cottage cheese and tomatoe strips (if it was a "special day" we would have McDonald's). So I guess, I would have to spend my time doing those things he loved because those bring the happiest memories - that's when he taught, shared of his life growing up during the depression in Chicago with Al Capone's gang (oh what stories and adventures), and when he smiled. And his love for my Nana, even after 65 years of living and owning a business together, the look in his eyes when he turned to her…what a precious gift they had together - so rare these days. I admired them both

With his loss and the recent loss of my father-in-law, I have to say they both taught me something. LIVE LIFE. No matter how much time you are given on this earth, it is a numbered amount of days. We lost my father-in-law at 59 but as much as we mourn our loss, I can not "mourn his life". He lived more in those 59 years than many do in 100. He lived each day as if it were really his last. He knew he had heart problems and he never let a moment be wasted. He also never forgot to tell those who were important to him how very special they were to him and his life.

So as I remember my grandfather today, I also am reminded to LIVE my life that I'm given and to tell my friends and family how very much I love and appreciate them!

If given this opportunity, what would you do with "One More Day" with a lost loved one?

Well, no "official" reviews yet - although I have sent out TONS of copies for reviews and have been on 3 radio presentations across the country talking about our health care needs in the US (and our lack there of...)

but here is my first "official" listing...kind of exciting...and only 3 books left right now at Amazon.com - so Hurry and get your copy TODAY...

Jim Agnew's Daily Picks

Thanks for the support...it's like having a "new baby"... (just don't want anyone to call it ugly...:) - so maybe no critic reviews so far are good!)

Be SAFE...

** NEW BOOK **

Ever wonder what that Pharma drug rep neighbor of yours really did for living?  wonder how he / she spent his / her day?  think they make lots of money, don't do anything and have the "easy" life?  Think again.  Think they only work from 9-2? Well you are right about that but there is an A.M. after each of those numbers.  curious to find out more about the industry?  don't like big pharma? Hear stories from an insider about life in the industry and how it has changed over the years into what it is today.

 This isn't just a story about the medical industry and the need for reform in the way health care is delivered in the US (which it definitely needs to be) but is also a story of self discovery. It's about pain, resentment, growing, loving and life as a Corporate woman and mother.

We need reform in our health care industry as well as insurance coverage for all.

My story can be found HERE....

It's FINALLY HERE! My book....!!!!

Kimberly Cheryl was living the American Dream until she was seriously injured in a car accident. Unexpectedly fired by the company she long served, she found herself without a job, without insurance, and without any means of paying off her obligations. She quickly moved from a position of observer and participant of the health care industry to being adversely affected by the same system.

In Escape from the Pharma Drug Cartel, Cheryl reveals how our health care system is broken, unjust, and inhumane. "Every other industrialized nation manages to provide almost all its citizens with guaranteed health insurance, while spending less on health care than we do," Cheryl writes. How is it possible that the United States-a leader in health care development and drug discovery-is not able to provide its citizens with medical care when countries like Australia and China do?

In Escape from the Pharma Drug Cartel, Kimberly Cheryl takes the reader on a shocking, revealing, and provocative tour of the pharmaceutical industry of America as only an insider can.

PURCHASE your copy today and help change the way we view Medical coverage for American Citizens....

*NEW*  Book reviews how to write a targeted resume for the pharmaceutical industry, what interview questions to expect and how to answer them, how to put together a functional "brag book", what to expect in your second and third interviews, questions you should ask the interviewing manager and much more

LAND MORE JOBS - GET MORE INTERVIEWS

Do you know what separates the top sales people in any given industry? If you could take two hours to read a book that would help you get the job you want, would you take the time to read it? Sadly, most average people don't take the time to read the books that will help them. It's always the top sales people who invest in their trade; who sharpen their ax constantly. Can you spare the time and make an investment in your future? The purpose of this book is to help you become the best of the best and to help you start preparing for your pharmaceutical / medical sales career NOW! For those of you contemplating pharmaceutical / medical product sales as a profession, this book will give you a foundation on which to build your career. Why is this the book for you? As a pharmaceutical sales representative with 18 years of experience in the industry, I have been a specialty representative, a hospital rep, a product sales instructor, a managed care sales rep and a temporary district manager and I know the industry. This book will cover everything from networking and interview techniques to the importance of attitude and behavior. You see, the greatest sales people, yesterday and today, possess certain traits on which I have always focused my success on. They have a special winning attitude that propels them to success. To be truly valued and successful in the pharmaceutical industry, this is where to start.

I'd love your feedback on the book....click HERE to order from Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble

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