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"Southern Women"

This was sent to me by the wife of my dear friend,

                          jfore.
        Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
   Clean skin.
   A winning smile.
   That unforgettable Southern drawl.

        Southern women know their manners:
   'Yes, ma'am.'
   'Yes, sir.'
   'Why, no, Billy!'

        Southern women have a distinct way with fond      expressions :
   'Y'all come back!'
   'Well, bless your heart.'
   'Drop by when you can.'
   'How's your Momma?'

        Southern women know their summer weather report:
   Humidity
   Humidity
   Humidity
   Southern women know their vacation spots:
   The beach
   The rivuh
   The crick

        Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
   Colorful hi-heel sandals
   Strapless sun dresses
   Iced sweet tea with mint

        Southern women know everybody's first name:
   Honey
   Darlin'
   Shugah

        Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
   Fried Green Tomatoes
   Driving Miss Daisy
   Steel Magnolias
   Gone With The Wind

        Southern women know their religions:
   Baptist
   Methodist
   Football

        Southern women know their country breakfasts:
   Red-eye gravy
   Grits
   Eggs
   Country ham
   Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

     Chawl'stn
   S'vanah
   Foat Wuth
   N'awlins
   Addlanna

        Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
   Men in uniform.
   Men in tuxedos
   Rhett Butler

        Southern girls know their prime real estate:
   The Mall
   The Country Club
   The Beauty Salon

        Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
   Having bad hair and nails
   Having bad manners
   Cooking bad food
   More Suthen-ism's:

        Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
   Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'
   Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction   of 'yonder.'
   Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.'
   Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
   All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.   Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!   Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
   Between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 m ile or 20. Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.         A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
   Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .. And when we 're 'in line,' . We talk to everybody!
   Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.   Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
  When you hear some one say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
   Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk.
  And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... And go your own way.
   To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of Sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____
   And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, .. Bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I'm glad I'm here!

* My own addition: Those of you who are from the North, don't understand the Confederate Flag, what it stands for , hate all this "Southern Stuff," and hate it here:

GO BACK TO WHEREVER IT WAS THAT YOU CAME FROM!

DeborahLakeHelen's Blog

"SUTHERN" WOMEN

DeborahLakeHelen

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